As Nikki Glaser prepares to host the Golden Globe Awards this weekend, all eyes will be on her. The 40-year-old Ohio-born stand-up comedian is known for her sharp wit and fearless humor, having built a reputation through celebrity roast appearances and her own stand-up specials.
Here are some of Glaser’s most controversial and daring jokes:
On Losing Her Virginity: “I’m bad at sex. I’ve accepted it because I started late, and I’m still learning. I didn’t have sex until I was 21, saving myself for Jesus. Luckily, Jesus was also my gardener’s name. So, I found a loophole in my dad’s rule.”
On Rob Lowe: Referring to Rob Lowe’s 1988 sex tape scandal, Glaser joked: “Rob defies age restrictions.” She added, “You look like you’re sculpted… you put the statue in statutory rape.” She continued, “I had such a crush on you when I was a little girl… if only I’d known that was when I had my best shot.”
On Racism: “I’m not racist. I hate the n-word… who lives in my building. He’s a jerk, but I don’t have a problem with anyone else.”
On Tom Brady: Glaser didn’t hold back when discussing NFL legend Tom Brady, whose ex-wife Gisele Bündchen is now in a relationship with jiu-jitsu instructor Joaquim Valente. “Tom Brady. Five-time Super Bowl MVP, most career wins, most career touchdowns. You’ve got seven rings — well, eight now that Gisele gave hers back. The only thing dumber than saying yes to this roast was when you said, ‘Hey babe, you should try jiu-jitsu.’”
On Being Called ‘Ma’am’: “I hate being called ‘ma’am.’ It happened at Starbucks. The barista said, ‘Ma’am, can I get your name for your drink?’ I turned around, ‘Where’s the deaf old b****?’ She was like, ‘No, ma’am, you.’ I thought, ‘Does she want to fight?’ Ma’am is rude! Of all the things to call a woman, ma’am is just slightly nicer than c***. Not much.”
On Robert De Niro: “I can’t even believe I get to share this stage with you tonight, Robert De Niro. And by ‘this stage,’ I mean the final one of your life.”
On Alec Baldwin: “I wanna thank Alec. In his memoir, he bravely admitted that he once considered suicide, and I just want to say I too have considered your suicide. I have some suggestions.”
On Jokes About Suicide: “If I were to say, ‘Guys, I’m going to do some rape jokes,’ you’d probably say, ‘Go back to the suicide stuff.’ But if I said, ‘I can do these jokes because I’ve been raped,’ you’d be relieved. You’d think, ‘Oh, thank God she’s been raped. Now I can relax.’”
On Bill Maher: “I’ve been called racist, anti-Semitic, homophobic, and a white supremacist — and that’s just while getting plowed by Bill Maher.”
Glaser’s bold style has always sparked debate, and her humor, often pushing the boundaries of taste, is expected to keep the Golden Globes audience on edge. With her reputation for daring comedy, it’s clear that no topic is off-limits for the comedian.
