When it comes to seafood jokes, clams are often overlooked. But with their quirky shells and delicious appeal, they make for great subjects for some hilarious puns, one-liners, and witty banter. If you love the ocean and have a sense of humor, this collection of 79 clam jokes is sure to tickle your funny bone and leave you smiling. From classic wordplay to cheeky, deep-sea humor, there’s something here for everyone. So, let’s crack open some jokes and have a laugh.
79 Funny Clam Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Till You’re Shell-Shocked
1. Why did the clam refuse to share its pearl?
Because it was shellfish!
2. What’s a clam’s favorite type of music?
Anything with a good beat.
3. What do you call a clam who plays the piano?
A mollusk-cian.
4. Why don’t clams ever gossip?
They like to keep things under wraps.
5. How do clams make decisions?
They clam up and wait for the best option to open up.
6. What do you get when you cross a clam with a dinosaur?
A Jurassic shell!
7. Why was the clam so good at school?
It always had the best shell-ution to every problem.
8. What did the clam say when it felt embarrassed?
“I’ll just clam up!”
9. Why do clams hate the cold?
Because they can’t handle the chill in their shells.
10. What’s the best way to cheer up a clam?
Give it a little shell-ter.
11. What did the clam do when it was asked to tell a joke?
It clammed up, of course!
12. Why did the clam go to therapy?
It had some emotional baggage it couldn’t shell-ter anymore.
13. How do clams stay in shape?
They do lots of shell-aerobics!
14. What’s a clam’s favorite sport?
Crabbing, of course!
15. How did the clam get out of the ocean?
It made a quick shell-fish escape!
16. Why did the clam bring a towel to the party?
Because it was a shell-abration!
17. What did one clam say to the other at the bar?
“You’re the pearl of my life!”
18. Why did the clam never tell secrets?
It didn’t want to clam up and get caught.
19. What do you call a clam that likes to act?
A mollusk-thespian.
20. What did the clam say when it got a compliment?
“You’re making me blush—right through my shell!”
21. What do clams do when they are excited?
They shell-shake!
22. What’s a clam’s favorite type of movie?
Anything with a good “clamactic” ending.
23. Why are clams bad at making decisions?
Because they just keep clamming up!
24. How did the clam react when it saw a crab walking by?
It said, “Don’t pinch me!”
25. Why did the clam start a band?
To make some shell-raising tunes!
26. What do you call a clam who can’t stop talking?
A chatter-clam.
27. Why are clams so bad at telling jokes?
Because they always clam up at the punchline.
28. What’s the clam’s favorite part of a meal?
The pearl of the dish!
29. Why did the clam go to the gym?
It wanted to get a little more “shell”-f confidence.
30. How does a clam prefer to relax?
By taking a nice long shell-bath.
31. Why do clams never get into arguments?
They just clam up and avoid the drama.
32. What do you call a clam who’s also a detective?
A shell-utionary!
33. What did the clam say to the oyster?
“We should really shell-abrate our friendship!”
34. Why was the clam always calm?
It had a great shell-itude!
35. What’s a clam’s favorite game?
Shell-ter and seek!
36. What does a clam wear to a fancy dinner party?
Its best shell-tuxedo.
37. Why don’t clams ever gossip?
They prefer to keep things under wraps.
38. What does a clam do when it feels nervous?
It takes a deep breath and hopes it won’t clam up!
39. Why did the clam join thZe circus?
To show off its shell-acrobatics!
40. What do you call a clam with a fancy hat?
A clam-bell.
41. What does a clam do when it’s bored?
It opens up and starts chatting!
42. Why don’t clams like to share?
Because they’re a bit shellfish!
43. What’s a clam’s favorite color?
Pearlescent white, of course!
44. Why did the clam visit the doctor?
It was feeling a little shell-shocked.
45. What does a clam like to drink?
Shell-berries and cream!
46. Why did the clam turn on its lights?
It was ready to make a shell-tering entrance!
47. What’s a clam’s favorite type of exercise?
Shell-lifting.
48. How do you know if a clam is in a good mood?
It opens up to greet you!
49. Why did the clam go to the beach?
To get some sun and “clam-p” up its energy!
50. How do clams say goodbye?
“Shell you later!”
51. What’s a clam’s favorite form of self-care?
A relaxing “shell”-sation.
52. Why did the clam start a blog?
To share all its shell-acious thoughts!
53. What’s a clam’s favorite hobby?
Collecting pearls!
54. What did the clam do at the music concert?
Rocked out to some shell-tastic tunes!
55. Why do clams never complain about their job?
Because they’re just happy to have a good shell-ary.
56. What did the clam say to the other when it was time to leave?
“Let’s shell outta here!”
57. Why do clams always get invited to parties?
They really know how to shell-abrate.
58. What do you get when you cross a clam with a dog?
A clamsniffer!
59. What did the clam say to the octopus at the party?
“Don’t squeeze me!”
60. What’s a clam’s favorite way to travel?
By shell-ship!
61. Why did the clam blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s tide and got shell-shocked.
62. What’s a clam’s favorite snack?
Sea-salt chips, naturally!
63. What do you call a clam that likes to sleep in?
A shell-lebrity!
64. Why do clams never argue?
They just clam up.
65. What do you call a clam who loves playing cards?
A shell-a-king.
66. How does a clam prefer to spend its weekend?
Just chilling in the sand, enjoying some quiet time.
67. Why don’t clams ever make decisions quickly?
They need time to shell-ibrate their options.
68. What did the clam say when it found a pearl?
“That’s the gem of my dreams!”
69. Why was the clam so good at math?
Because it always counted on its shell-f!
70. What’s the clam’s motto in life?
“Keep calm and clam on!”
71. What’s a clam’s favorite dance move?
The shell-shuffle!
72. Why did the clam go to therapy?
It had some deep emotional layers to uncover.
73. What’s a clam’s favorite workout?
Shell-ups!
74. Why do clams always look so relaxed?
They know how to “shell” their stress.
75. What did the clam do when it wanted to tell a joke?
It cracked itself up.
76. Why did the clam refuse to go to the party?
It was too shell-shocked to go out.
77. What’s a clam’s favorite dessert?
Pearls and cream!
78. How do clams deal with stress?
They take it one shell at a time.
79. What’s a clam’s favorite TV show?
“The Real Housewives of the Ocean. ”
Conclusion
By now, you should be shell-shocked from all the laughs! These 79 clam jokes are just the thing to lighten the mood and share some laughter with friends, family, or fellow seafood enthusiasts. Whether you’re cracking jokes at the beach or at the dinner table, these clams will have everyone in stitches.
