Humor has a special way of lightening up any moment, and what better way to get some laughs than with a collection of funny vulture jokes? These scavenger birds, often misunderstood and admired for their unique habits, make for great comic relief. So, if you’re ready for some dark humor and pun-filled punchlines, buckle up! Below, you’ll find 94 vulture jokes that will leave you laughing and appreciating these magnificent creatures in a new way.
94 Hilarious Vulture Jokes That Will Have You Cracking Up!
1. Why did the vulture bring a suitcase to dinner?
Because it was going to a “feast!”
2. What do you call a vulture that loves sports?
A “hawk”!
3. Why don’t vultures ever play poker?
Because they always “cheat” when they see the bones!
4. What did the vulture say to the new bird at the party?
“Welcome to the roost!”
5. Why are vultures so good at math?
Because they always “count” on leftovers!
6. Why don’t vultures ever tell secrets?
They always “spill the guts. ”
7. What did the vulture say after eating?
“That was ‘winged’ perfection!”
8. Why are vultures terrible at relationships?
Because they always “pick” the wrong partner!
9. What’s a vulture’s favorite type of music?
“Heavy metal!”
10. Why did the vulture go to school?
To get a “degree” in scavenging!
11. How did the vulture get a job?
By “swooping” in at the right time!
12. What do you call a group of vultures on a road trip?
“Feathered friends” hitting the highway!
13. Why did the vulture get kicked out of the bar?
It was “too thirsty” for the bartender’s taste!
14. What do you call a vulture’s favorite food?
“Leftovers!”
15. How did the vulture respond to the insult?
“Oh, you’re just a ‘bitter bird’!”
16. What happened when the vulture became a comedian?
It delivered “bone-rattling” humor!
17. Why did the vulture wear a tuxedo?
To “dress up” for dinner!
18. Why are vultures always so cool?
Because they know how to “chill” with their food!
19. What do you call a vulture with a fancy car?
A “scavenger in style!”
20. Why don’t vultures ever get lost?
They always “follow the buzzards”!
21. Why did the vulture decide to start a blog?
Because it loved to “tweet”!
22. What did the vulture say when it saw its dinner?
“That’s just ‘bone-appetite’!”
23. Why don’t vultures ever make good detectives?
Because they always “pick” the wrong clues!
24. What does a vulture do at a party?
It “hangs around” waiting for the best food!
25. What’s a vulture’s favorite way to exercise?
“Hovering” around!
26. What’s a vulture’s favorite time of year?
“Feast” season!
27. Why are vultures terrible at being chefs?
They always “gobble” up the mistakes!
28. Why did the vulture start a podcast?
It wanted to “pick” up some new fans!
29. What did the vulture say to the farmer?
“I’m just here for the leftovers!”
30. Why do vultures never pay for food?
Because they always “scavenge” for a free meal!
31. What’s a vulture’s favorite exercise?
“Wing lifts!”
32. What did the vulture think of the birdwatcher?
“You’re just ‘feathering’ the nest for me!”
33. Why did the vulture start a diet?
It needed to “clean its plate”!
34. How did the vulture become famous?
By “taking flight” into the spotlight!
35. Why did the vulture go to the comedy club?
It wanted to “eat up” the laughter!
36. Why did the vulture avoid playing soccer?
It didn’t want to get “caught” on the field!
37. Why don’t vultures use smartphones?
Because they don’t “tweet” on the go!
38. What do vultures do for fun on the weekends?
They “chill” by the carcass!
39. Why don’t vultures ever get angry?
They always “wing it” and stay calm!
40. How do vultures stay in shape?
They love doing “flight” squats!
41. Why did the vulture become a motivational speaker?
It was an expert in “lift-off!”
42. What do vultures sing when they’re happy?
“I’m in the mood for some ‘leftovers’!”
43. Why did the vulture bring a ladder to dinner?
To “reach” the high-quality meat!
44. What do you call a vulture that plays tennis?
A “fast-winger!”
45. Why did the vulture refuse to play cards with the eagle?
It didn’t want to “wing the game!”
46. How does a vulture say hello?
“Wing to meet you!”
47. What did the vulture say when it won the prize?
“That’s ‘bone-afide’!”
48. Why did the vulture stop visiting the zoo?
It wasn’t getting enough “feed-back!”
49. Why don’t vultures write books?
They don’t like to “pen” the final chapter!
50. How do vultures stay connected?
They “tweet” all day long!
51. What do vultures do at family gatherings?
They always “feast” on the family secrets!
52. Why did the vulture start a fitness class?
To help people “lift off” to a healthier life!
53. What’s a vulture’s favorite dessert?
“Bone-anza” pie!
54. Why did the vulture join the circus?
It was an expert at “flying through the hoops!”
55. What’s a vulture’s favorite movie?
“The Bone Identity!”
56. Why did the vulture refuse to do karaoke?
It didn’t want to “squawk” on stage!
57. How did the vulture meet its partner?
Through a “feathered” connection!
58. What’s a vulture’s favorite flower?
A “dead” rose!
59. Why did the vulture go on a diet?
To fit into its “scavenger-sized” clothes!
60. What do vultures eat at a barbecue?
“Bones and ribs!”
61. Why do vultures make terrible friends?
They’re always “picking” on you!
62. What do you call a vulture that tells jokes?
A “pun-isher!”
63. Why did the vulture refuse to leave the restaurant?
Because it was waiting for a “to-go box”!
64. What did the vulture think of the fresh meat?
It was “to die for!”
65. Why don’t vultures like sitting on trees?
Because the branches are too “thin” for comfort!
66. Why do vultures make excellent public speakers?
They have “winged” charisma!
67. What’s a vulture’s favorite exercise?
Wing stretches!
68. Why did the vulture start a comedy club?
It wanted to bring “bone” jokes to the masses!
69. What do vultures order for dinner?
“Leftovers to go!”
70. How do vultures keep in touch?
With their “winged” text messages!
71. Why did the vulture get a ticket?
It was “hovering” too long!
72. Why did the vulture refuse to play hide-and-seek?
Because it can’t “hide the bones!”
73. How did the vulture join a band?
It was great at “drumming up” attention!
74. Why don’t vultures get nervous?
They “wing it” every time!
75. What did the vulture say at the party?
“I’m just here for the ‘meat’ of the conversation!”
76. Why do vultures make good actors?
They’re great at “stealing the scene!”
77. Why did the vulture start its own restaurant?
It wanted to “feast” on success!
78. What did the vulture do when it didn’t get its food?
It “swooped” in and took what it needed!
79. Why did the vulture join a gym?
To “work on its wingspan!”
80. What’s the vulture’s favorite hobby?
“Picking” through history!
81. Why don’t vultures write songs?
They don’t “compose” the right notes!
82. What did the vulture say when it was scared?
“I’m feeling ‘feathered’ with fear!”
83. Why did the vulture hate math class?
It didn’t like “counting carcasses!”
84. What do you call a vulture in the circus?
A “winged” acrobat!
85. Why did the vulture take flying lessons?
To “take off” in style!
86. What does a vulture say before eating?
“This is going to be ‘bone’ tickling!”
87. Why do vultures like to hang out in groups?
Because they are “social scavengers!”
88. What do vultures call their friends?
“Feathered companions!”
89. How do vultures entertain themselves?
With “flapstick” comedy!
90. What do you call a vulture that’s good at math?
A “counting” expert!
91. Why don’t vultures use cell phones?
They prefer to “wing it” on their own!
92. What’s a vulture’s idea of a good time?
A “scavenger hunt!”
93. What did the vulture do on vacation?
It went on a “feather” getaway!
94. Why do vultures never get tired?
Because they’re always “winging it!”
Conclusion
From puns to quick-witted jokes, these 94 vulture jokes have proven that even the most unlikely creatures can spark laughter. Whether you’re a bird enthusiast or just someone in need of a good chuckle, these jokes bring the perfect combination of humor and cleverness. Keep these on hand for your next social gathering or as a pick-me-up during a dull moment. And remember, vultures may be known for scavenging, but these jokes will certainly have you feasting on fun!
