A man recently shared a story on Reddit about making a joke that upset a French woman during a gathering with friends, but he insists he doesn’t think he did anything wrong.
The man explained in a post on the “Am I the A——?” subreddit that he met up with friends, one of whom brought a woman from France. They talked for some time about her country and language, and the man decided to make a joke related to the song “Lady Marmalade.” Unfortunately, the joke did not have the desired effect.
He recalled saying, “It sucks that Americans don’t really know any French beyond basic words and phrases like ‘bonjour,’ ‘merci,’ ‘voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?’” He went on to explain that this phrase means “Do you want to sleep with me tonight?” and was a famous line from the song, which he believed many Americans were familiar with.
However, the woman was unfamiliar with the song and became visibly upset. She explained the meaning of the phrase to the group, and the man says his friends started calling him an “a——.” Despite his attempts to clarify that he wasn’t making any inappropriate advances, his apology didn’t seem to reach her, and the situation dampened the mood of the evening.
Afterward, the man’s friends suggested he apologize, but he felt he had done nothing wrong, aside from making a joke that didn’t land well. He posted the question to Reddit, asking if he was in the wrong.
The post sparked a lively debate, with some commenters defending the man. One noted that the song “Lady Marmalade” is not obscure and was released in 1974 and 2001, both times reaching the top 10 on the French Billboard charts. “It’s insane to act like this was a reference to an unknown song,” they said.
Others disagreed, arguing that making sexual jokes, especially to someone you’ve just met, is inappropriate. One commenter said, “If you make a joke with a sexual reference and it makes someone uncomfortable, you should apologize.” Another pointed out that many women are tired of hearing sexual jokes and that such comments can often be unsettling, particularly when directed at strangers.
After considering the feedback, the man updated his post, acknowledging that an apology was likely necessary. “I’ve done a little thinking, and despite my intentions, I should have been more considerate of her feelings,” he wrote. He admitted that his joke may not have been appropriate, given the cultural differences and the misunderstanding. “Maybe I shouldn’t have been so defensive afterward,” he added.
He concluded that while he would move on if she chose not to accept his apology, he still felt it was important to offer one.
