Parrots are known for their vibrant colors, intelligent nature, and ability to mimic sounds, making them a perfect subject for humor. Whether you’re a parrot enthusiast or just love a good laugh, parrot jokes are sure to tickle your funny bone. From puns about their beaks to jokes about their colorful personalities, we’ve gathered over 114 funny parrot jokes to keep you entertained. So, let’s dive into the world of parrot humor and see what these feathered friends have in store for us!
114+ Unbelievably Hilarious Parrot Jokes for Non-Stop Laughter!
1. What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A walkie talkie.
2. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a pigeon?
Voice mail.
3. What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Hide and Speak!
4. How do you get a parrot to talk properly?
Send him to the polytechnic!
5. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
6. Did you hear about the geometry teacher who left his parrot’s cage open?
Polygon.
7. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
A bird that will talk your ear off!
8. What does the parrot wear to the beach?
A beak-ini!
9. Where do parrots go when they die?
The parrotise.
10. Why are parrots so good at improvisation?
Because they know how to wing it!
11. Where do pirates buy their parrot food?
Petsmarrrrrrrrt!
12. Why did the parrot cross the road?
Just beak-ause!
13. What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Beakaboo.
14. What do you call a parrot without feathers?
Bald.
15. What do you get when you cross a parrot and a lion?
I don’t know, but if it wants a cracker you better give it one.
16. What always succeeds?
A toothless parrot! It always sucks seeds.
17. Which insect is smarter than a talking parrot?
A spelling bee.
18. Why are parrots so good at imitations?
They love parrot-y! (parody)
19. Why was the pirate sad when his parrot left?
It gave him the cold shoulder!
20. What side of a parrot has the most feathers?
The outside!
21. Why are parrots so good at improvisation?
Because they know how to wing it!
22. What does the mummy parrot say to her baby?
Beak-areful!
23. Why are male parrots so loyal?
They are a man of their bird!
24. Sad news, my obese parrot died today.
Although mind you, it’s a huge weight off my shoulders.
25. If you have a parrot, it says a lot about you!
A parrot walks into a bar, slaps a small fish on top of the barstool, then stands on the fish and orders a drink.
26. “What’s with the fish?” the bartender asks. The parrot replies, “This is my perch. ”
Now is the best time to buy a parrot, I hear they’re going cheep!
27. A man in a movie theatre notices what looks like a parrot sitting next to him.
“Are you a parrot?” asked the man, surprised. “Yes. ” “What are you doing at the movies?” The parrot replied, “Well, I liked the book. ”
28. A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a miniature parrot in the front seat.
“What are you doing with that parrot?” He exclaimed, “You should take it to the zoo. ” The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the parrot again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over. “I thought you were going to take that parrot to the zoo!” The man replied, “I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!”
29. My aunt’s parrot can say over 30 phrases, but each one is offensive and belittling. . . . Toucan play that game!
30. If I had a talking parrot, the first thing I would teach it to say is “Help, they’ve turned me into a parrot!”
31. One day I took my parrot to the vet because it was sick.
The vet informed me that he had bad news and good news. The bad news was that my parrot had chirpees, but the good news was that it was tweetable.
32. “Knock knock”
“Who’s there?”
“A parrot”
“A parrot who?”
“A parrot-ly some birds can talk!”
33. A guy goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he needs a pet for his mother.
The guy says that Mom lives alone and could really use some company. The Petshop guy says, “I have just what she needs. A parrot that can speak in 5 languages. She’ll have a lot of fun with that bird. ” The guy says he’ll take the parrot and makes arrangements to have the bird delivered to his Mom. A few days pass and the man calls his mother. “Well Mom, how did you like that bird I sent?” She says, “Oh son, he was delicious!” Aghast, the guys says, “Mom, you ate that bird? Why? He could speak 5 languages!” Mom says, “well, he shoulda said something. ”
34. A woman got a pet parrot, but she was horrified to discover that all it did was say mean things and insult her.
“Well,” the parrot says, “when the mailman came to the door today your wife greeted him in a sheer nightgown and kissed him on the mouth. ”
35. A guy decides that maybe he’d like to have a pet and goes to a pet shop.
After looking around, he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn’t have any feet or legs. The guy says out loud, “Geez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?” I was born this way,” says the parrot. “I’m a defective parrot. ”
36. “Ha, ha,” the guy laughs. “It sounded like this parrot actually understood what I said and answered me!”
“I understood every word,” says the parrot. “I am a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird. ”
37. “Yeah?” the guy asks. “Then answer this: how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?”
“Well,” the parrot says, “this is a little embarrassing, but since you asked I’ll tell you. I wrap my little parrot penis around this wooden bar, kind of like a little hook. You can’t see it because of my feathers. ”
38. “Wow,” says the guy, “you really can understand and answer, can’t you?”
“Of course! I speak both Spanish and English. I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any subject: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy and I am especially good at ornithology. You ought to buy me. I’m a great companion. ”
39. The guy looks at the $200 price tag. “I can’t afford that,” he says.
“Pssst,” the parrot hisses, motioning the guy over with one wing. “Nobody wants me cause I don’t have any feet. You can get me for $20. Just make an offer!”
40. The guy offers 20 dollars and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He’s funny, he’s interesting, he’s a great pal, he understands everything, sympathizes, gives good advice. The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot says,”Pssst,” and motions him over with one wing. The guy goes up close to the cage. “I don’t know if I should tell you this or not”, says the parrot, “but it’s about your wife and the mailman”
41. “What?” says the guy.
“Well,” the parrot says, “when the mailman came to the door today your wife greeted him in a sheer nightgown and kissed him on the mouth. ”
42. “What happened then?” asks the guy.
“Then the mailman came into the house and lifted up her nightgown and began petting her all over,” reports the parrot.
43. “My God!” the guy cries. “Then what?”
“Then he got down on his knees and began to lick her body, starting with her breasts and slowly going down and down. ” The parrot pauses for a long time. . . . .
44. “Goddammit bird, what happened next!?” says the frantic guy.
“I don’t know,” says the Parrot. “I got a boner and fell off my perch. ”
45. A burglar breaks into a house and sees a parrot.
“Yes,” said the parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot: “What’s your name?”
46. “Clarence,” said the bird.
“That’s a dumb name for a parrot,” sneered the burglar. “What idiot named you Clarence?”
47. The parrot said, “The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus. ”
48. What do you give a sick bird?
Tweetment!
49. What’s another name for a clever duck?
A wise quacker!
50. What language do birds speak?
Pigeon English!
51. What do parrots eat?
Polyfilla!
52. What bird tastes just like butter?
A stork!
53. What do owls sing when it is raining?
‘Too wet to woo’!
54. What flies through the jungle singing opera?
The parrots of Penzance!
55. What kind of bird opens doors?
A kiwi!
56. What is a duck’s favorite TV show?
The feather forecast!
57. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A bird that talks in morse code!
58. What happens when ducks fly upside down?
They quack up!
59. What happened when the owl lost his voice?
He didn’t give a hoot!
60. Where do birds invest their money?
In the stork market!
61. What do you call a bird that lives underground?
A mynah bird!
62. A woman goes into a pet shop and sees a beautiful parrot!
A sign on the cage reads…only £50!
63. ‘Why is it so cheap?’ the woman asks.
The owner replies: ‘The bird used to live in a brothel and can use some pretty vulgar language’.
64. The woman decides to buy it anyway, takes it home and puts it in her living room.
The bird looks around, then turns to the woman and says: ‘New house, new Madam’.
65. What do you call a Scottish parrot?
A Macaw!
66. Why did the parrot go to the doctor?
It had a fowl cough!
67. Why did the parrot go to the gym?
To get some egg-cellent abs!
68. What did the parrot say when it got lost?
“I’m having a fowl day!”
69. Why did the parrot go to the beauty parlor?
It wanted a beak trim!
70. What did the parrot say when it saw its reflection?
“I’m a bird-brained beauty!”
71. Why did the parrot join a band?
It was a natural peck-ussionist!
72. What do you call a parrot that does magic tricks?
A bird-illusionist!
73. Why did the parrot go to therapy?
It had a lot of egg-xpectations!
74. What did the parrot say when it got tired?
“I’m all fowl-ed out!”
75. Why did the parrot become a chef?
It loved cooking up a storm!
76. What did the parrot say when it saw a delicious meal?
“That looks egg-straordinary!”
77. Why did the parrot go to the library?
To read some fowl literature!
78. What do you call a parrot that loves to read?
A bookworm with wings!
79. What do you call a parrot that’s a great listener?
A parrot-ential counselor!
80. What did the parrot say on its birthday?
“I’m another year older and still flying high!”
81. Why did the parrot go to the spa?
To get a beak massage!
82. What did the parrot say when it got angry?
“I’m fed up with all this fowl play!”
83. Why did the parrot become a detective?
It was great at cracking egg-cases!
84. What do you call a parrot that loves to dance?
A bird that’s got the moves!
85. Why did the parrot go to the gym again?
To pump up its pecks!
86. What did the parrot say when it saw a mirror?
“I’m a reflection of perfection!”
87. Why did the parrot go to the doctor again?
It had a fowl temper!
88. What do you call a parrot that loves to tell jokes?
A comedy bird!
89. Why did the parrot go to the comedy club?
To hear some egg-cellent jokes!
90. What did the parrot say when it told a joke?
“That was a real hoot!”
91. Why did the parrot become a teacher?
It was great at giving egg-amples!
92. What do you call a parrot that loves to sing?
A songbird with a twist!
93. Why did the parrot go to the music festival?
To rock out with its flock!
94. What did the parrot say when it heard music?
“That’s a real tweet treat!”
95. Why did the parrot become a food critic?
It loved tasting new dishes and giving egg-stra special reviews!
96. What did the parrot say when it tasted something delicious?
“This is egg-straordinary cuisine!”
97. Why did the parrot go to the bakery?
To buy some egg-cellent pastries!
98. What do you call a parrot that loves to bake?
A bird that’s the icing on the cake!
99. Why did the parrot go to the restaurant?
To try some fowl play with the menu!
100. What did the parrot say when it ordered food?
“I’ll have a peck of fries, please!”
101. Why did the parrot become a chef again?
It was great at whipping up egg-stra special dishes!
102. What do you call a parrot that loves coffee?
A bird that’s always buzzed!
103. Why did the parrot go to the coffee shop?
To get a latte and tweet about it!
104. What did the parrot say when it drank coffee?
“This is the buzz I needed!”
105. Why did the parrot become a barista?
It was great at brewing up a storm!
106. What do you call a parrot that loves to drink?
A bird that’s always on the rocks!
107. Why did the parrot go to the bar?
To have a fowl time with friends!
108. What did the parrot say when it had a drink?
“Cheers to a beak-tastic night!”
109. Why did the parrot become a mixologist?
It was great at shaking things up!
110. What do you call a parrot that loves to eat sweets?
A bird with a sweet tooth!
111. Why did the parrot go to the candy store?
To buy some egg-stra sweet treats!
112. What did the parrot say when it ate candy?
“This is a real treat for my beak!”
113. Why did the parrot become a food blogger?
It loved sharing egg-stra special recipes!
114. What do you call a parrot that loves to cook desserts?
A bird that’s the icing on the cake!
Conclusion
The jokes below cover a wide range of themes, from food to pirates, and even include some clever wordplay. They are designed to be fun, light-hearted, and easy to understand, making them perfect for all ages. So, sit back, relax, and get ready to laugh with these hilarious parrot jokes!
