Tanks, tanks, and more tanks! If you’ve ever thought about how to lighten the mood, a good old tank joke might be the way to go. With their big guns, armored exteriors, and legendary status in military history, tanks might not seem like the funniest subject, but you’d be surprised! Whether you’re a history buff, a military enthusiast, or just love a good laugh, this collection of tank jokes is sure to add some humor to your day.
From puns to quirky one-liners, we’ve assembled 88 tank jokes that you simply can’t top! Let’s dive into the world of tank humor—because no one’s ever seen a tank joke too heavy to handle.
88 Tank Jokes & Puns: You Can’t Top These!
1. Why don’t tanks ever get lost?
Because they always follow the tracks!
2. What do you call a tank that is always afraid of the dark?
A scaredy-tank!
3. Why did the tank break up with the missile?
It felt like the missile was too explosive for its taste.
4. What did the army tank say to the soldier?
“I’m feeling a little rusty today. ”
5. Why do tanks make terrible comedians?
Because their jokes are too heavy for some people!
6. What’s a tank’s favorite part of a newspaper?
The armor section.
7. Why are tanks always so good at their jobs?
They don’t shy away from tough situations.
8. What do you get when you cross a tank with a computer?
A hard drive.
9. What did one tank say to the other during a battle?
“I’m shell-shocked!”
10. Why did the tank take a nap?
It needed to recharge its batteries.
11. Why was the tank always invited to parties?
Because it knew how to blow things up!
12. What’s the best way to cheer up a sad tank?
Give it a little armor.
13. What do you call a tank that’s always clean?
A pristine machine.
14. How did the tank feel after a successful mission?
On top of the world!
15. What did the tank say when it was out of gas?
“I’m running on fumes!”
16. Why don’t tanks tell secrets?
Because they’re known for being too armored to keep things quiet.
17. What’s a tank’s favorite TV show?
Breaking Bad – because they know all about breaking things!
18. Why did the tank bring a towel to battle?
To wipe the floor with the enemy!
19. What did the tank say when it entered the bar?
“You can’t top me!”
20. What’s the tank’s favorite type of music?
Heavy metal, of course.
21. Why did the tank join a gym?
It wanted to work on its core strength.
22. What’s a tank’s least favorite color?
Pink. It just doesn’t look good on armor.
23. How do tanks stay in shape?
They work on their treads every day.
24. What do you call a tank who loves gardening?
A green thumb – because it knows how to plant its foot in the dirt!
25. What did the tank say to its commander?
“I’m all fired up!”
26. Why are tanks such bad drivers?
They can’t parallel park!
27. What do you call a tank that loves to take selfies?
A tank-tographer.
28. Why do tanks avoid parties with more than 100 people?
They hate being the center of attention.
29. What did one tank say to the other at the mechanic’s shop?
“I’m feeling a little run down. ”
30. Why do tanks never tell jokes about other tanks?
Because it’s always armored humor.
31. What’s the worst thing you can say to a tank?
“You’re not that tough. ”
32. What did the tank say after it got a new paint job?
“I’m looking pretty sharp!”
33. Why did the tank visit the bakery?
It was looking for some bread and butter.
34. What do tanks use to stay organized?
A battle plan.
35. What do you call a tank with a broken gun?
A defective weapon.
36. Why did the tank ask for a raise?
It felt like it was doing all the heavy lifting.
37. How do you make a tank laugh?
Tell it a joke with shellshock value.
38. What did the tank say to the soldier about its new armor?
“I’m bulletproof now!”
39. Why are tanks such good bodyguards?
Because they’re great at defending what matters most.
40. What do you call a tank that loves poetry?
A tank-verse enthusiast.
41. Why did the tank wear a helmet?
To protect its headquarters.
42. What’s a tank’s favorite dessert?
43. What do you call a tank that’s afraid of water?
A dry-run tank.
44. What did one tank say to the other at the war museum?
“Look at all these old relics!”
45. Why do tanks love to watch action movies?
Because they can relate to the explosions.
46. Why are tanks terrible at keeping secrets?
Because they’re always blowing their cover.
47. What’s a tank’s favorite exercise?
Push-ups – they’re all about getting low.
48. How do tanks avoid drama?
By staying in their own lane.
49. What did the tank say to the fighter jet?
“You might have the speed, but I’ve got the power!”
50. Why was the tank so popular?
Because it was always ready to roll.
51. What did the tank say to its rival?
“You’re about to meet your match!”
52. Why don’t tanks ever get cold?
Because they have built-in heaters.
53. What do you call a tank that’s always happy?
A tank of joy.
54. Why did the tank refuse to go to therapy?
It said it had too many issues to work through.
55. What did the tank say when it was asked to help with the dishes?
“I’m not here to clean up your mess!”
56. Why did the tank go to school?
It wanted to learn how to think outside the box.
57. How does a tank show its appreciation?
By giving out heavy-duty thank you cards.
58. What do you call a tank with a party hat?
A tank-tastic celebration!
59. Why was the tank good at fixing things?
Because it knew how to make a solid repair.
60. What’s the most important quality for a tank?
Toughness.
61. Why don’t tanks play poker?
Because they can’t hide their bluff.
62. How do tanks prefer their eggs?
Shell-fried, of course.
63. What’s the tank’s favorite season?
Armor weather.
64. What do tanks use to measure their weight?
Armored scales.
65. Why did the tank go to the comedy club?
It was looking for some explosive laughter.
66. Why do tanks make terrible chefs?
They always over-cook the situation.
67. What do tanks like to do in their free time?
Shell out some fun.
68. What’s a tank’s favorite game?
Battlefield.
69. Why was the tank always so confident?
Because it had a steel backbone.
70. What did the tank say to the soldier about its condition?
“I’m feeling a little run-down. ”
71. Why did the tank get a speeding ticket?
It was moving too fast for comfort.
72. What’s the tank’s favorite hobby?
Rolling through tough terrain.
73. Why do tanks always win at arm wrestling?
They have unmatched strength.
74. Why do tanks love telling jokes?
Because they break the ice with everyone.
75. How do tanks make decisions?
They rely on their gut instincts.
76. What do you call a tank with a loud engine?
A roaring machine.
77. Why did the tank become a detective?
Because it was excellent at digging up the dirt.
78. What’s the best part about being a tank?
You can take any hit and keep on rolling.
79. What’s a tank’s favorite vegetable?
Shell peas.
80. What do tanks do when they retire?
They take a break from heavy-duty tasks.
81. What’s a tank’s least favorite type of weather?
Heavy rain—it messes with their tracks.
82. Why did the tank always bring a pencil to war?
To make sure it could draw fire.
83. How do tanks stay cool during the summer?
They keep their engines running.
84. Why are tanks always so well-prepared?
Because they never forget their battle plan.
85. What did the tank say after it made a mistake?
“I guess I’m a little off-track. ”
86. Why did the tank go to therapy?
It had a lot of emotional armor to shed.
87. What do tanks do after a successful mission?
They celebrate by letting off some steam.
88. Why don’t tanks like playing video games?
They can’t stand being stuck in the same level.
Conclusion
Tank jokes may be heavy-duty in their own right, but they’re guaranteed to make your day lighter! Whether you’ve enjoyed a laugh about treads, shells, or explosive humor, these jokes can add some firepower to any conversation. So, whenever you need a break from the serious stuff, remember that you can always roll out with a tank joke. After all, you can’t top these!
