The Golden Globe Awards took place on Sunday night, and as host Nikki Glaser humorously put it, it was “Ozempic’s biggest night.”
The U.S. comedian kicked off the ceremony with a sharp opening monologue, roasting several Hollywood A-listers in attendance. Glaser, who gained international recognition for her performance at last year’s Roast of Tom Brady, delivered one of the best hosting jobs since Ricky Gervais last presented in 2020. She set the perfect tone for a night celebrating both film and television.
Here are some of her best lines from the evening:
“Tonight, we celebrate the best in film and make room for television.”
“I feel like I’ve made it. I’m in a room full of producers at the Beverly Hilton, and this time, I’m fully dressed. Worth it!”
“Some of you know me from roasts, but I’m not here to roast you. How could I? You’re all famous, talented, and powerful. The only thing you can’t do is tell the country who to vote for.”
“Wicked, Queer, Nightbitch – these aren’t just things Ben Affleck yells in bed. They’re some of the films nominated tonight.”
“The Bear, The Penguin, Baby Reindeer – these aren’t things in RFK’s freezer, they’re TV shows nominated tonight.”
“I see some of the hardest working actors here. I’m talking about your servers. They’ll be bringing you cocktails and food, which you’ll likely just look at.”
“We have huge movie stars tonight: Kate Winslet, Cate Blanchett, Colin Farrell. And we have huge TV stars too: Kate Winslet, Cate Blanchett, Colin Farrell.”
“Even Eddie Redmayne did TV this year. He’s nominated for The Day of the Jackal on Peacock, about a top-secret sniper no one can find – probably because he’s on Peacock.”
“Denzel Washington is here for Gladiator II, Cynthia Erivo for Wicked, and Martin Short is here because we have cameras.”
“Zendaya, you were amazing in Dune – I woke up for all of your scenes.”
“Tilda Swinton is nominated for playing Timothée Chalamet.”
“Timothée, you were fantastic in A Complete Unknown. In fact, your singing voice was so on-point that even Bob Dylan admitted it was absolutely terrible.”
“We can’t talk about movies tonight without mentioning Wicked. I didn’t know much about it going into this year because I had friends in high school.”
“But I loved it. My boyfriend loved it, and my boyfriend’s boyfriend really loved it.”
“It’s such a joy to see a musical on stage. Some theatres had issues with them – some complained that the movie was ruined by people singing. But with Joker 2, some said it was ruined by the images and sounds that accompanied it.”
“I’m sorry, Joker 2, where’s your table? Oh, they’re not here.”
“Nicole Kidman is nominated for Babygirl. This is your 20th Golden Globe nomination. Incredible! Thanks to you and Keith Urban, who played so much guitar around the house, you made 18 movies this year.”
“Glen Powell, what a year! You were in everything – Twisters, Hit Man, and my head when I’m with my boyfriend. Thanks for the assist. I’ll see you later.”
“Selena Gomez is here, double nominee, and she’s here with her new fiancé Benny Blanco, who’s here thanks to the genie who granted him that wish.”
“Who else is here? Oh, it’s two-time Holocaust survivor Adrien Brody.”
“Emilia Pérez earned 10 nominations for Netflix. I loved it. It’s the most audacious, groundbreaking film to ever auto-play after Is It Cake?”
“I really think this is going to be a memorable night, and maybe not for the reasons you think. Five years from now, when you’re watching clips of this show on YouTube, you’ll say, ‘Oh my god, that was before they caught that guy.'”
“There’s been a lot of talk about comebacks – Pamela Anderson, Demi Moore. If you’re a woman over 50 in a lead role, they call it a comeback. If you’re a man over 50, congratulations – you’re about to play Sydney Sweeney’s boyfriend.”
“If you lose tonight, just remember: the point of making art isn’t to win awards, the point of winning an award is to start a tequila brand so popular that you never have to make art again.”
