Animals have always been a source of amusement for people of all ages. Whether you’re looking for a good laugh or just want to add some lightheartedness to your day, funny animal jokes never fail to do the trick. From the clever antics of our furry friends to the silly behaviors of our feathered and scaly companions, animals provide endless material for humor. These jokes are perfect for sharing with friends, family, or even strangers who could use a good laugh. So, let’s dive into the world of funny animal jokes that are sure to make you smile!
89 Hilarious Animal Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Laugh
1. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish!
2. What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo? A woolly jumper!
3. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!
4. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? So-fish-ticated.
5. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!
6. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogey in it.
7. What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A python.
8. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels!
9. What do you get if you cross a dog and a computer? A lot of barking at the mouse!
10. Why did the horse go behind the tree? Because he wanted to change his jockeys.
11. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
12. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
13. What did the lion say to the zebra? “Stop being so black and white!”
14. Why did the elephant bring a suitcase to the zoo? Because he wanted to pack his trunk!
15. What’s a crocodile’s favorite game? Snap!
16. Why did the horse refuse to join the army? Because he didn’t want to be a “military” man.
17. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
18. What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple!
19. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb up in a tree and act like a nut!
20. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
21. Why did the cat sit on the computer? Because it wanted to keep an eye on the mouse!
22. What did the snail say to the turtle? “Hurry up, slowpoke!”
23. Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have tiny ant-bodies!
24. What did the dog say to the cat? “You’re purrfect!”
25. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
26. Why was the giraffe so good at playing basketball? Because he had his head in the game!
27. What did the cow say to the duck? “You’re one quacking good friend!”
28. Why did the dog sit in the shade? Because he didn’t want to be a hot dog!
29. What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark? A bird that talks back and bites!
30. Why did the dog bring a pencil to the park? Because he wanted to draw a bone!
31. How does a rabbit keep its fur looking great? By using hare products!
32. What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam!
33. Why was the rooster always so confident? Because he was the cock of the walk!
34. What do you call a sleeping cow? A bulldozer!
35. How does a cat make decisions? By using its purr-sonal judgment!
36. What did the puppy say to the kitten? “You’re paws-itively adorable!”
37. Why did the horse go to school? To get some stable education!
38. How do you make a squirrel go nuts? Tell it a really cheesy joke!
39. What do you call a bird who loves to play soccer? A goal-dfinch!
40. Why do elephants never use computers? Because they’re afraid of the mouse!
41. What did the zebra say to the lion? “I’m just here to blend in!”
42. How do you stop an elephant from charging? Take away its credit card!
43. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador!
44. Why do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have scales!
45. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite!
46. Why don’t koalas ever use cell phones? They’re always hanging out in trees!
47. What do you call an animal that’s good at math? A math-hog!
48. Why did the pig go to the casino? To play the slop machines!
49. What’s a horse’s favorite sport? Stable tennis!
50. What’s the most dangerous animal at the zoo? A lion who’s feeling feline!
51. Why don’t dogs use cell phones? Because they prefer a collar-ular device!
52. What do you call an animal that can play the piano? A bandicoot!
53. Why do frogs like to play basketball? They’re jump shots!
54. What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog? A jumpin’ boa!
55. How did the dog feel after a long run? Ruff!
56. Why did the cat sit on the computer? It wanted to keep an eye on the mouse!
57. What do you call a fish that practices medicine? A sturgeon!
58. Why did the cat wear a fancy dress? Because she was feline fine!
59. What did the mouse say to the cat? “You’re paws-itively scary!”
60. Why are elephants so bad at hiding? Because they’re always spotted!
61. What do you call a bird that can play the piano? A duck-tective!
62. Why did the owl always carry a pencil? Because it was a night owl!
63. What did the parrot say to the cat? “Stop being so purr-suasive!”
64. Why did the horse refuse to be a comedian? Because he was too stable!
65. What did the dog say to the fire hydrant? “You’re my best friend!”
66. Why don’t fish play basketball? They’re afraid of the net!
67. What do you call a parrot who lost its voice? A bird with no “peep. ”
68. Why did the whale always win the race? Because it was a fast swimmer!
69. What’s a zebra’s favorite sport? Stripes and field!
70. Why did the cat refuse to play cards? Because she was afraid of cheetahs!
71. How do you keep a dog busy? Give it a chew toy and call it a bone of contention!
72. Why do ducks have webbed feet? To swim faster, of course!
73. What did the horse say to the dog? “You’re paws-itively the best!”
74. What do you get when you cross a kangaroo and a sheep? A woolly jumper!
75. Why did the lion eat the comedian? Because he wanted a little “roar” from the crowd!
76. What do you call a dog who loves science? A labrador!
77. Why did the owl sit on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse!
78. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros? Elephino (sounds like “I’ll-effin-o” which means “I’ll eff in o”—a silly joke!).
79. How do you make a dog laugh? Tell it a “tail” joke!
80. Why do birds fly south in the winter? Because it’s too far to walk!
81. What do you call a dog that can play the guitar? A rock-and-roll retriever!
82. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side!
83. What do you call a group of musical whales? An orca-stra!
84. What do you get when you cross a dog and a computer? A lot of barking at the mouse!
85. Why did the cow become an astronaut? Because it wanted to visit the Milky Way!
86. What did the turtle say to the hare? “Slow and steady wins the race!”
87. Why did the dog sit on the clock? Because he wanted to be a watchdog!
88. What do you call a mouse that can sing? A mouse-ician!
89. Why don’t giraffes make good comedians? Because they always have their heads in the clouds!
Conclusion
We hope you had as much fun reading these 89 hilarious animal jokes as we had compiling them! Whether you’re sharing them with friends or telling them to a group of kids, these animal jokes are sure to bring smiles and laughter. After all, there’s no better way to enjoy the lighter side of life than with a good joke—especially one about our furry, feathery, or scaly friends. So next time you need a chuckle, remember these jokes and let the animals do the talking!
