77 Funny Cabbage Jokes That Will Make Your Stomach Hurt from Laughing!

by Diana Ward

Who knew cabbage could be so funny? It’s often seen as a humble vegetable, packed with nutrients and great for stews or salads. But don’t be fooled by its leafy exterior—cabbage has a sense of humor that’s as crisp as it is crunchy. This article will take you on a journey through 77 hilarious cabbage jokes, perfect for making you giggle while you chop, stir-fry, or just enjoy a cabbage dish. Whether you’re a seasoned cabbage fan or new to the vegetable world, these jokes are guaranteed to bring a smile to your face!

Now, prepare yourself for some punny, leaf-tastic humor. Let’s dig into these cabbage jokes and see if they leave you in stitches.

77 Funny Cabbage Jokes

1. Why don’t cabbages ever gossip? Because they prefer to keep things on the down-low!

2. What’s a cabbage’s favorite exercise? The headstand!

3. Why did the cabbage sit in the corner? Because it was feeling a little leafed out.

4. Why do cabbages make terrible secret agents? They always leave a trail of leaves behind!

5. What did the cabbage say to the carrot? “Lettuce be friends!”

6. Why was the cabbage feeling so upbeat? It was on a roll—very headstrong!

7. How did the cabbage feel after the gym? It felt shredded!

8. What’s a cabbage’s favorite music? Pop music, of course!

9. Why did the cabbage stop making salad? It got too mixed up.

10. What do cabbages use to communicate? Their leaf phones.

11. Why did the cabbage bring a pencil to the party? Because it wanted to draw attention!

12. What did the cabbage say when it saw the broccoli? “You’re looking a bit floretty today!”

13. What’s a cabbage’s favorite movie? The Shredding.

14. Why do cabbages avoid the spotlight? They don’t like to be exposed—they prefer to stay under wraps.

15. What did the cabbage say when it got invited to dinner? “I’m so leafed to be included!”

16. Why did the cabbage cross the road? To get to the salad bar, of course!

17. What’s a cabbage’s dream job? To be a leaf consultant.

18. What do you call a cabbage that can’t stop talking? A chatter-leaf.

19. Why was the cabbage afraid of the soup pot? It didn’t want to get boiled down.

20. What did the cabbage say at the comedy show? “This is so corny!”

21. Why was the cabbage excited about its new job? It was getting a head start!

22. What do you call a cabbage that tells bad jokes? A pun-kernel.

23. Why don’t cabbages ever tell secrets? Because they know they’ll get leafed out.

24. What’s the cabbage’s favorite instrument? The leaf harp!

25. Why did the cabbage get a promotion? Because it always leafed an impression!

26. What’s a cabbage’s favorite party trick? Rolling with the jokes!

27. Why did the cabbage refuse to play cards? It didn’t want to get shuffled around.

28. Why did the cabbage blush? It was caught leafing through someone else’s salad!

29. Why did the cabbage go to therapy? It was feeling a little shredded inside.

30. What did the cabbage say after a big argument? “I guess we’ll have to leaf it at that. ”

31. Why are cabbages terrible at math? They can’t count—they always lose their heads.

32. What did the cabbage say at the bank? “I’m here to deposit some leaves. ”

33. Why did the cabbage go to the party? It wanted to leaf a lasting impression.

34. What did the cabbage say when it got confused? “I’m totally in a pickle here!”

35. Why don’t cabbages ever get into fights? They’re too busy lettuce-ing things go.

36. Why was the cabbage blushing at the dinner table? It was feeling saucy!

37. What do you call a cabbage that likes to dance? A twist and shout cabbage!

38. What did the cabbage do when it was mad? It lost its head.

39. What did the cabbage say when it met the tomato? “You’re really ketchup to me!”

40. Why did the cabbage look nervous? It didn’t want to leaf anything behind.

41. What do you call a cabbage that’s always playing pranks? A jester-leaf.

42. What did the cabbage say after winning the race? “I guess you could say I leafed them in the dust. ”

43. Why was the cabbage a bad comedian? It couldn’t leaf the audience laughing!

44. What’s a cabbage’s favorite board game? Monop-leaf-y.

45. Why do cabbages never have problems? They always leaf the stress behind.

46. What do you call a cabbage that makes decisions quickly? A snap cabbage!

47. Why did the cabbage join the circus? Because it wanted to do some high-wire leafing!

48. What’s a cabbage’s favorite hobby? Making coleslaw art.

49. Why did the cabbage keep interrupting? It couldn’t leaf well enough alone.

50. What did the cabbage do when it got tired? It took a leaf nap!

51. Why don’t cabbages use social media? They don’t like getting stalked.

52. What do you call a cabbage that writes novels? A leaf novelist.

53. Why do cabbages always make the best guests? They never overstay their leaf.

54. What’s a cabbage’s favorite holiday? Leaf-toberfest!

55. Why did the cabbage wear sunglasses? It was feeling too cool for school.

56. What did the cabbage say after the big exam? “I’m leafing this place behind!”

57. Why was the cabbage so good at art? It was great at leafing a mark!

58. What do you call a cabbage that tells stories? A leaf storyteller!

59. Why did the cabbage refuse to go out on a date? It didn’t want to leaf its friends behind!

60. Why was the cabbage always late to meetings? It kept lettuce get distracted!

61. What did the cabbage do when it felt lazy? It just leafed everything for later.

62. Why did the cabbage take a vacation? It needed to re-leaf its mind.

63. What’s a cabbage’s favorite weather? A crisp day!

64. What’s a cabbage’s favorite type of movie? Leaf-fiction!

65. What did the cabbage do when it found a new job? It said, “I’m on a head start!”

66. Why did the cabbage get a gym membership? It wanted to work on its core strength.

67. What do cabbages do when they’re excited? They leaf for joy!

68. Why did the cabbage blush? It saw someone dressing its salad.

69. What do cabbages bring to a potluck? Leaf-dishes!

70. Why don’t cabbages go to the movies? Because they’re too busy lettuce-ing things happen.

71. Why did the cabbage wear a cape? It wanted to be a super-leaf!

72. What’s a cabbage’s favorite game? Hide-and-seek, but only in the garden!

73. What did the cabbage say about the new restaurant? “I think it’s a head above the rest. ”

74. Why did the cabbage break up with the broccoli? Because it was tired of being in a stalky relationship.

75. What did the cabbage say when it was feeling down? “I’m in a bit of a pickle. ”

76. Why did the cabbage get invited to every party? It was always the life of the salad!

77. What did the cabbage say when it was asked to leave? “Guess it’s time to leaf the party!”

Conclusion

Who knew that a humble cabbage could provide so much laughter? From heady puns to leafy one-liners, these 77 cabbage jokes show that sometimes, vegetables can be just as funny as they are nutritious. So next time you’re making a cabbage dish, don’t forget to tell a few jokes. After all, who wouldn’t want to leaf their audience in stitches?

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