Kiwis are not just delicious fruits or adorable flightless birds from New Zealand—they’re also the stars of some of the funniest jokes out there! Whether you’re a fan of food jokes, classic jokes, or just need a good laugh, this article is packed with over 111 kiwi-themed jokes that will have you rolling on the floor. From puns to witty one-liners, these jokes are perfect for sharing with friends, family, or even your pet kiwi (if you have one). So, grab a kiwi fruit, sit back, and get ready to laugh your way through this fruity and feathery comedy extravaganza!
111+ Funny Kiwi Jokes to Tickle Your Funny Bone!
Food Jokes About Kiwi
1. Why did the kiwi go to school? To get a little fruit-ed-ucation!
2. What do you call a kiwi that’s always late? A slow-kiwi!
3. Why don’t kiwis ever get into fights? Because they’re berry peaceful!
4. How do you make a kiwi shake? Put it in the freezer!
5. What’s a kiwi’s favorite dance? The salsa!
6. Why did the kiwi break up with the banana? It couldn’t handle the split!
7. What do you call a kiwi with a six-pack? A fruit-itian!
8. Why did the kiwi go to the doctor? It was feeling a little fuzzy!
9. What’s a kiwi’s favorite movie? The Grape Escape!
10. Why did the kiwi bring a ladder to the bar? It heard the drinks were on the house!
Classic Kiwi Jokes
11. Why did the kiwi cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken!
12. What do you call a kiwi in a suit? A smoothie!
13. Why don’t kiwis ever get lost? Because they always follow their peels!
14. What’s a kiwi’s favorite sport? Squash!
15. Why did the kiwi get a job? To earn some extra pulp!
16. What do you call a kiwi that’s a detective? Sherlock Lime!
17. Why did the kiwi go to the party? To have a berry good time!
18. What’s a kiwi’s favorite music? R & Berry!
19. Why did the kiwi get kicked out of the library? It was being too pulp-fiction!
20. What do you call a kiwi that’s a comedian? A stand-up fruit!
Kiwi Bird Jokes
21. Why did the kiwi bird join Twitter? To get more followers!
22. What do you call a kiwi bird that’s a magician? Hocus Pocus-kiwi!
23. Why don’t kiwi birds ever get cold? Because they have feather coats!
24. What’s a kiwi bird’s favorite game? Hide and beak!
25. Why did the kiwi bird go to school? To improve its tweet-ment!
26. What do you call a kiwi bird that’s a chef? A cook-iwi!
27. Why did the kiwi bird get a ticket? It was caught speeding on its tiny legs!
28. What’s a kiwi bird’s favorite TV show? Game of Clones!
29. Why did the kiwi bird bring a suitcase to the forest? It was going on a nest-cation!
30. What do you call a kiwi bird that’s a musician? A tweet-er!
Kiwi Puns
31. I’m reading a book on kiwi history. It’s the zest-seller!
32. Did you hear about the kiwi that became a lawyer? It’s now a fruit-tioner!
33. Why did the kiwi go to the art museum? To see the fruit-rait gallery!
34. What do you call a kiwi that’s a pilot? A fly-fruit!
35. Why did the kiwi get a promotion? Because it was outstanding in its field!
36. What’s a kiwi’s favorite type of humor? Dry wit!
37. Why did the kiwi go to the gym? To get more a-peel!
38. What do you call a kiwi that’s a scientist? A fruit-ologist!
39. Why did the kiwi go to the beach? To catch some vitamin sea!
40. What’s a kiwi’s favorite holiday? Fruit-oween!
Kiwi One-Liners
41. Kiwis are the only fruits that can’t fly, but they sure can roll!
42. I told my kiwi a joke, and it said, “That’s un-peel-ievable!”
43. Kiwis are like ninjas—small, fuzzy, and always sneaking into fruit salads!
44. Why did the kiwi blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
45. Kiwis are proof that good things come in small, fuzzy packages!
46. I asked my kiwi for advice, and it said, “Just go with the pulp!”
47. Kiwis are the only fruits that can’t dance, but they sure can salsa!
48. Why did the kiwi get a medal? For being outstanding in its field!
49. Kiwis are like comedians—they always leave you in splits!
50. I tried to teach my kiwi math, but it only knows fruit-ions!
Kiwi Riddles
51. What’s green, fuzzy, and always on time? A punctual kiwi!
52. What do you call a kiwi that’s always happy? A jolly-kiwi!
53. What’s a kiwi’s favorite type of story? A fruit-tale!
54. What do you call a kiwi that’s always cold? A chill-kiwi!
55. What’s a kiwi’s favorite place to relax? The fruit-spa!
56. What do you call a kiwi that’s always tired? A sleep-kiwi!
57. What’s a kiwi’s favorite type of car? A fruit-ari!
58. What do you call a kiwi that’s always hungry? A snack-kiwi!
59. What’s a kiwi’s favorite type of weather? Fruit-breeze!
60. What do you call a kiwi that’s always curious? A wonder-kiwi!
Kiwi Knock-Knock Jokes
61. Knock knock. Who’s there? Kiwi. Kiwi who? Kiwi you a hug if you let me in!
62. Knock knock. Who’s there? Fuzzy. Fuzzy who? Fuzzy kiwi is here to see you!
63. Knock knock. Who’s there? Fruit. Fruit who? Fruit and let me in, it’s cold out here!
64. Knock knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green kiwi is here to make you laugh!
65. Knock knock. Who’s there? Peel. Peel who? Peel-ase let me in, I’m a kiwi!
66. Knock knock. Who’s there? Berry. Berry who? Berry nice to meet you, kiwi!
67. Knock knock. Who’s there? Slice. Slice who? Slice to meet you, kiwi!
68. Knock knock. Who’s there? Vitamin. Vitamin who? Vitamin C you later, kiwi!
69. Knock knock. Who’s there? Salad. Salad who? Salad you in a bit, kiwi!
70. Knock knock. Who’s there? Juice. Juice who? Juice me a chance, kiwi!
SEE ALSO: How to Master a Knock-Knock Joke: A Comprehensive Guide
Kiwi Food and Drink Jokes
71. Why did the kiwi go to the bar? To get a fruit punch!
72. What’s a kiwi’s favorite cocktail? A fuzzy navel!
73. Why did the kiwi go to the bakery? To get some fruit tarts!
74. What’s a kiwi’s favorite dessert? Fruit salad!
75. Why did the kiwi go to the coffee shop? To get a latte with extra pulp!
76. What’s a kiwi’s favorite breakfast? Fruit loops!
77. Why did the kiwi go to the ice cream parlor? To get a scoop of fruit sorbet!
78. What’s a kiwi’s favorite snack? Fruit leather!
79. Why did the kiwi go to the juice bar? To get a vitamin boost!
80. What’s a kiwi’s favorite sandwich? A fruit and nut butter sandwich!
Kiwi Animal Jokes
81. Why did the kiwi bird join the circus? To show off its balancing act!
82. What do you call a kiwi bird that’s a painter? A fruit-ist!
83. Why did the kiwi bird go to the doctor? It had a case of the peeps!
84. What’s a kiwi bird’s favorite movie? The Lion Kiwi!
85. Why did the kiwi bird go to the beach? To catch some rays!
86. What do you call a kiwi bird that’s a musician? A tweet-er!
87. Why did the kiwi bird go to the gym? To work on its pecks!
88. What’s a kiwi bird’s favorite game? Hide and beak!
89. Why did the kiwi bird go to the party? To have a hoot!
90. What do you call a kiwi bird that’s a chef? A cook-iwi!
Kiwi Miscellaneous Jokes
91. Why did the kiwi go to the library? To check out some fruit-ction!
92. What’s a kiwi’s favorite type of music? Fruit-al!
93. Why did the kiwi go to the movies? To see the latest fruit-ure film!
94. What’s a kiwi’s favorite type of book? A fruit-obiography!
95. Why did the kiwi go to the gym? To get more a-peel!
96. What’s a kiwi’s favorite type of humor? Dry wit!
97. Why did the kiwi go to the art museum? To see the fruit-rait gallery!
98. What’s a kiwi’s favorite type of car? A fruit-ari!
99. Why did the kiwi go to the beach? To catch some vitamin sea!
100. What’s a kiwi’s favorite holiday? Fruit-oween!
Bonus Kiwi Jokes
101. Why did the kiwi go to the party? To have a berry good time!
102. What do you call a kiwi that’s a detective? Sherlock Lime!
103. Why did the kiwi get a job? To earn some extra pulp!
104. What’s a kiwi’s favorite sport? Squash!
105. Why don’t kiwis ever get lost? Because they always follow their peels!
106. What do you call a kiwi in a suit? A smoothie!
107. Why did the kiwi cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken!
108. What do you call a kiwi that’s a comedian? A stand-up fruit!
109. Why did the kiwi get kicked out of the library? It was being too pulp-fiction!
110. What’s a kiwi’s favorite music? R & Berry!
111. Why did the kiwi go to the doctor? It was feeling a little fuzzy!
Conclusion
And there you have it—111+ funny kiwi jokes that are sure to brighten your day! Whether you’re a fan of food jokes, classic jokes, or just love a good pun, these kiwi-themed jokes are perfect for any occasion. So, the next time you’re in need of a laugh, just remember these kiwi jokes and share them with your friends and family. After all, laughter is the best medicine, and kiwis are the best comedians!
