Valentine’s Day is a time for love, laughter, and making memories with those special people in your life. While it’s often filled with romantic gestures and heartfelt moments, adding a dash of humor can make the day even more enjoyable. Jokes are a great way to lighten the mood and bring smiles to everyone’s faces. Here, we’ve compiled a list of 148 Valentine’s Day comedy jokes that are sure to tickle your funny bone and make your loved ones giggle.
148 White Valentine Day Comedy Jokes to Turn Your Heart Into a Laugh Factory
1. Why did the banana go out with the prune on Valentine’s Day? Because it couldn’t find a date!
2. What did the paper clip say to the magnet on Valentine’s Day? I find you very attractive!
3. Why do melons have to get married in church? Because they cantaloupe.
4. What did the beer say to the wine? You’re grape!
5. What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day? I’m stuck on you!
6. What do you call a squad of baby Cupids? An infantry.
7. What kind of flower should you never give on Valentine’s Day? A cauliflower!
8. What do you call a very small Valentine? A Valen-tiny!
9. What do you call it when two young fish are in love? Guppy love.
10. Why shouldn’t you trust a pastry chef on Valentine’s Day? Because he’ll dessert you.
11. How do you keep a jewelry store safe on Valentine’s Day? You locket.
12. If I were to lay eleven roses next to you, you’d make the perfect dozen.
13. Is your name Chapstick? Because I think you’re da balm!
14. Do you know what this shirt is made of? Hubby/wifey material.
15. You’re like a dictionary… you add meaning to my life.
16. What did the flame say when he met the love of his life? I found the perfect match!
17. What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine’s Day? Hogs and kisses.
18. I must be a snowflake because I’ve fallen for you.
19. Why should you never laugh at your significant other’s choices? Because you’re one of them!
20. What’s the difference between love and marriage? Love is blind, while marriage is an eye-opener!
21. What did the man say to his banker on February 14? You’ve caught my interest.
22. What did the painter tell his girlfriend? I love you with all my art.
23. What did the gardener say to their date? I dig you.
24. What’s Cupid’s favorite band? Kiss!
25. What did the cucumber say to the pickle? You mean a great dill to me.
26. What did one plate say to the other on Valentine’s Day? Tonight, dinner’s on me.
27. What did the romantic sing after she got a paper cut? I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love.
28. What did the elephant say to his girlfriend? I love you a ton.
29. What did one cat say to the other cat on Valentine’s Day? You’re purr-fect.
30. What did one sheep say to the other on February 14? I love ewe.
31. What did one watermelon say to the other on Valentine’s Day? You’re one in a melon!
32. What did one triangle say to the other on Valentine’s Day? You’re acute.
33. Why are my feet cold on Valentine’s Day? Because you knocked my socks off.
34. Are you the internet? Because I’m feeling a connection.
35. When should you ask someone out on a coffee date? When you like them a latte.
36. What did the closet say to the light bulb? You light up my world.
37. What did the man with the broken leg tell his Valentine? I have a crutch on you.
38. Did you hear about the two radios that got married? The reception was amazing.
39. Why did the dad approve of his daughter’s goalie-boyfriend? He was a real keeper.
40. What did one oar tell the other oar? This is so row-mantic!
41. What did the car say to the tire? Wheel you be my valentine?
42. What did the tortoise say on Valentine’s Day? I turt-ally love you.
43. What do you tell a pig on February 14? Happy Valen-swine’s Day!
44. Where do you find love in a grocery store? Aisle B… there for you.
45. How do you put a flower in the friend zone? You tell it, ‘You’re my best bud. ‘
46. What did the salt say to the pepper on Valentine’s Day? Oooh baby, baby. Baby, baby.
47. What did the snail say on Valentine’s Day when his call went to voicemail? I just crawled to say I love you.
48. What did the soil say to express its feelings for the rock? I’d settle for you.
49. What’s the best Valentine’s Day dinner? A hearty one.
50. Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day? Yes, it’s February 14.
51. Who always has a date on Valentine’s Day? A calendar.
52. How did the squirrel get his valentine’s attention? He acted like a nut.
53. What do you call sweets that can keep a beat? Candy rappers.
54. What do you call a Valentine’s Day gift that didn’t arrive on time? Choco-late.
55. What did one bee say to the other? I love bee-ing with you, honey!
56. What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
57. What did one blueberry say to the other on Valentine’s Day? I love you berry much.
58. What did one cat say to the other cat on Valentine’s Day? You’re purr-fect for me.
59. How much candy do you hope to get this Valentine’s Day? A choco-LOT!
60. What did one Coke say to the other? You’re soda-lightful.
61. What did one skunk say to the other? You’re so stinkin’ cute.
62. Somebunny loves you!
63. What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
64. What did the cat say to her crush on Valentine’s Day? You’re purrfect for me.
65. Where do all the hamburgers take their dates on Valentine’s Day? To a meatball.
66. What’s the difference between a $20 steak and a $55 steak? February 14.
67. What happened when the two angels got married? They lived harpily ever after.
68. What happened when the man fell in love with his garden? It made him wed his plants!
69. Why does Cupid always make so much money at the casino? Because he’s a Valentine’s card shark.
70. What did one pig say to the other? Don’t go bacon my heart.
71. Owl always love you.
72. I ruff you.
73. You’re mine fur-ever.
74. I wanna give you koala my heart.
75. I’m hoppy you’re mine.
76. We’re a matcha made in heaven.
77. It takes two to mango.
78. Only have fries for you.
79. I relish the time we spend together.
80. Tortellini in love with you.
81. You are tea-riffic!
82. Have I told you Reese-ently that I love you?
83. I love you s’more and s’more each day.
84. Pie like you very much!
85. You’re one in a melon.
86. I’m bananas over you!
87. You whisk me off my feet.
88. You make me melt.
89. You’re soda-lightful.
90. I ap-peach-iate you.
91. You’re my soymate.
92. Will you be my Valenlime?
93. Words cannot express hummus I love you.
94. Let’s avo-cuddle.
95. You mean so mochi to me!
96. Thanks for always pudding up with me, honey.
97. Let’s give them something to taco ’bout.
98. You are my sweetie pie.
99. I am your biggest flan.
100. I love you so matcha.
101. Will you brie mine?
102. I’m b-egg-ing you to be my Valentine.
103. There’s so mushroom in my heart for you.
104. You make miso happy.
105. Will you peas be my Valentine?
106. You’re the loaf of my life.
107. You’ve stolen a pizza my heart.
108. We’re mint to be.
109. I love you from my head to-ma-toes.
110. We make a great pear.
111. I yam in love with you.
112. I want to spend more thyme with you.
113. Words can’t espresso how much I love you.
114. Don’t go bacon my heart.
115. You’re my everything bagel.
116. You’re the one pho me.
117. We’re butter together.
118. Hey Valentine, you’re a gouda one!
119. I love you berry much.
120. You’re all that and dim sum.
121. Here’s my number, so kale me, maybe?
122. You make my heart skip a beet.
123. I love you a latte.
124. I donut what I would do without you.
125. Olive you so much.
126. What did the scientist say to her Valentine? I think of you periodically.
127. What did the gardener say to his date? I dig you.
128. Why did the dad approve of his daughter’s goalie-boyfriend? He was a real keeper.
129. What did the car say to the tire? Wheel you be my valentine?
130. What did the tortoise say on Valentine’s Day? I turt-ally love you.
131. What do you tell a pig on February 14? Happy Valen-swine’s Day!
132. Where do you find love in a grocery store? Aisle B… there for you.
133. How do you put a flower in the friend zone? You tell it, ‘You’re my best bud. ‘
134. What did the salt say to the pepper on Valentine’s Day? Oooh baby, baby. Baby, baby.
135. What did the snail say on Valentine’s Day when his call went to voicemail? I just crawled to say I love you.
136. What did the soil say to express its feelings for the rock? I’d settle for you.
137. What’s the best Valentine’s Day dinner? A hearty one.
138. Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day? Yes, it’s February 14.
139. Who always has a date on Valentine’s Day? A calendar.
140. How did the squirrel get his valentine’s attention? He acted like a nut.
141. What do you call sweets that can keep a beat? Candy rappers.
142. What do you call a Valentine’s Day gift that didn’t arrive on time? Choco-late.
143. What did one bee say to the other? I love bee-ing with you, honey!
144. What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
145. What did one blueberry say to the other on Valentine’s Day? I love you berry much.
146. What did one cat say to the other cat on Valentine’s Day? You’re purr-fect for me.
147. How much candy do you hope to get this Valentine’s Day? A choco-LOT!
148. What did one Coke say to the other? You’re soda-lightful.
Conclusion
This collection includes a wide variety of jokes, from puns about food and animals to clever one-liners about love and relationships. Whether you’re looking for something sweet to share with your significant other or funny jokes to entertain your friends and family, there’s something here for everyone. So, grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and enjoy these hilarious Valentine’s Day jokes!
